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Name: Justa
Location: Pennsylvania, United States
Birthday: 2/28/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: read above...thenx...
JOESTA!!!!
Expertise: oh ya know. a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
5/22/2003
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| Ok so it's been awhile since i have written on here but i thought that i would. I have been writing so much poetry it's insane. i have a new poem book that i have just about filled. lol. it's an awesome book tho. made from all natural stuff and is just really pretty. i like it alot. i have been writing on just_a_precious_freak kinda frequently and i have been myspacing like it is my job haha. i have poems on there also. http://www.myspace.com/hkprecious
just incase. ok im outtie! | | |
| yeah....
why is it that people are so self-involved? all i do is sit and think and worry about everyone. i care about ppl. even after they smash me. lie to me. treat me like crap. im not some stupid little gurl u can walk all over. show me a smile then laugh behind my back. is this a game to you? to either of you? do u think it will work? that u...the "godly" one...will stop being a hypocryte and be true to urself and ur God. he knows what ur thinking and what ur doing..ur only fooling urself. go ahead. go with her. the one who lies. who pretends to be all that u want. when she'll only bring u down. u want a godly person, yet u give in so willingly so the same people u spite and despise. u call them shallow...i call them strong and opinionated. and you...the "friend" the smiler. what have u done for me other than lie? cause me grief. a smile one minute, a veil another. can we ever just be ok? can i ever trust you. with open arms and an open mind..or will u forever be locked behind closed doors? i want to reach out and give u a piece of my heart as a friend..but the last time i did u shattered it without thinking twice. u decieve me. over and over again. u remind me of my father. no matter how many time i try. no matter how many chances i give u...u seem to make me want to leave u behind. forget u ever existed. forget a chunk of my life.....i just need to know why? why i felt like shit for caring. why everyone bashed on me while u two secretly did the same thing i was being yelled at for. i hurt you? and you? what about u hurting me? never agian. i will not sit in silence. i will not sit and watch u ruin ur love for ur God that i know u have. i can only do so much. i will try once more. forgive once more. but after this. im through. take ur lies, ur "sympathy", ur "friendship", ur time, ur words...take them somewhere else...because im too weak adn too smart to do this again. be my friend, or be my foe, either way, im not going anywhere. im here to stay. its u two who will have to decide what u will do. i hope u have a good trip...cuz u know she'll only make u fall once more. and i hope u have a good time, cuz hes only a game to you. i love you both. i just dont understand you two. and im not sure i want to. whatever. i have too much shit going on to worry about this. have fun....fuck up ur lives....ill care...and ill watch...but im not sure i can catch u this time when u fall. | | |
| http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/showthread.php?threadid=18728
one of the best ideas i have ever heard of.....ever!
let me know if anyone is interested.... | | |
| this feeling. i have no idea what to do. parts of me want to flip out. this feeling that just floats around. never knowing what to do with myself. his touch. the butterflies in my tummy. refreashing. why should i have to hold things in? im open. im honest. i tell people whats on my mind. for the most part. but i do hold things back. i let them out slowly. slowly but surely. i try not to judge. but im not perfect. i sit with this feeling. i close my eyes. remember when ur hand held mine. when we sat together. silent. but loud with our actions. and now....we seem distant. ive lost a piece of myself with you. maybe ill get it back, but it can never be back the way i want it to be. its ok. we give and we take. i open my eyes and clear my thoughts. i close them to start all over again. a different face. my hand in his. the first time. accidently.....yet, on purpose. accidently on purpose i sppose. im anxious. to see what will happen next. to find out something else about you. im glad we have a lot in common. im glad i can forget about things when im with you and just laugh. and when we talk...im open. completely. ive had great conversations with you, we've become close fast. i love that. i like feeling comfortable with you. taking things slow is great though....talking to another friend. and he's pointed out...that we cant change certain things, so we should just let them go, and let them happen how they will. i like that. i really do. im done. im gonna let things go and be happy. i am happy. i like my life. i wish things were better in some departments....but over all things are great. ive got good friends, a family. no matter what they put me through, they are my family. ive got God, and cheerleading, and even tho he falls under friends also, ive got pacman to keep my mind at ease. slowly i open my eyes. take a look around. and sigh a sigh of relief. i love life. | | |
| i look around
and see.
that everything
is changing.
the season,
the people,
the feelings.
to let things
fall apart.
would be easier
then trying.
BLAH! i didnt like it...im starting over.
what can i do? i sit here and i try. to explain things. but i know in my heart. that even tho i try, its no use. i look around. and see that so many things are differnt. the way people are acting. the things people say. some are for the better. and some...unfortunately, for the worse. but thats life. full of ups and downs. we can pray, we can wait, we can forgive.....
but its up to the individual to make sure that they are being themself. to be happy with themself regardless of others.
my eyes stink from the smoke. all the friggen smoke. why? why is it such a big thing? i thought you were stronger, better than that. im not mad. i dont think less of you. im just disappointed is all.
then i take a walk. and sit with others. how i ever thought the one was an asshole is beyond me. so sweet. caring. a true friend. i can tell. we might not be that close, but hes there for me, and im there for him. people talk way too much shit on others...specially when they claim to be that persons friend.
on the other side of me. a sweet down to earth person. funny and sensitive. easy to talk to. im honest. sure i had a crush on you. and yes, you're incredibly attractive. but what a great friend u make. where were these people at the beginning? when i needed to start a strong base? i want to get to know you both better.
i want to get to know everyone better. i try not to judge, or label. but were all guilty of it. no shame. we're forgiven. but that doesnt make it right.
i listen to myself speak. more bad language. makes me sound uneducated. i need to work on that. find someone to help me with that.
the other two. sitting on teh bench. so involved in eachother. why? i'll never understand the relationship..that you two have...and im not sure i care to.
it bothers me when guys treat gurls like shit. and it bothers me when gurls feed into it. and it bothers me when they dont want to see what theyre doing, or admit to it.
why did i choose to walk away when u arrived. i was afraid. im still hurting. deep inside. on the surface. everywhere. im aching. im tired.
but then...im happy. is it bad to try and move on? to be close with others of the opposite sex? to have crushes?
who knows. this season has always been my favorite. i love the fall. as i walk, head low, i see the leaves. the leaves are so lucky. they get to fly. even tho only once, they get to fly. be free.
i want to fly. would u still want to go to never never land with me if we had the chance.
i still love stars. and i still love jason mraz. why do i keep mentioning you? because i care.
the guy im talking to online. he makes me laugh. makes me smile. makes me forget about things sometimes.
so what if hes in college. whats the big deal? hes sweet. caring. i feel so comfortable around him. we havent kissed, held hands, anything...and yet...i feel close to him. i wait to hang out with him. i look forward to seeing him. hearing from him. doing our handshake or victory dance.
which makes me smile. and think of my blue haired wonder. how blessed i am to find a true best friend. someone who understands a look in my eye. i have otehr friends like that. but lately. they seem to be slipping away. this one is staying forever. FOREVER. i laugh and smile as i think about our silly times.
i come to a close. slowly letting my mind drift away. back to the conversation...with the college kid. with the messy van. and the curly hair. who i like to call pacman.
yeah. i maybe a bit silly. a dorC. a loon. wudever. im me. and today as been a good day. i hope fall never ends...and the leaves get to fly forever. | | |
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